Wakes and Post-funeral meals

Candle with FlamesQuestions: Hi, I came looking for anything you may have written on funeral etiquette, and there it was right at the top! Thanks so much! Do you have any thoughts on the post-funeral meal or wake? Where it should be, who is invited, what kind of food should be served? I would appreciate any more info you have.

Thanks again, Nancy

Answer:  Nice to hear from you. Thank you, Nancy, for your questions about wakes and post-funeral meals. In these instances especially many people are relieved and encouraged when they learn that etiquette politely bows to various customs and convenience.  Some general orderly guidelines, however, do exist.  Let’s look at  “wake” first. It means different things to different people. Continue reading

Looking ahead:More on Issues of Life and death-Part II

Candle with FlamesThere’s a strong possibility that someone you know will experience a death in their family in the coming year. Knowing beforehand what we can do as friends is essential. We must practice, and teach our children to practice, good protocol during such times.

Our active response and role as friends (and acquaintances) should reflect our sympathetic care and concern for those who suffer such a loss. This caring concern must be expressed without being presumptuous, overbearing, or troublesome. Grief’s fragile emotions represent times to walk softly with comforting solemnity. Long standing etiquette points the way with some basic helpful guidelines. Our children also need to learn and understand this duty, especially if they are to attend a funeral. Many parents wisely leave small children and infants at home when the funeral is not for a close relative. Continue reading

Looking ahead: Issues of Life and death-Part I

Candle with FlamesMay I put a serious matter before you?–regardless of your age or household size. It’s an important discussion that should not
be ignored. Still, people often avoid talking about it.  I’ve seen some sad repercussions because people failed to address or realize this fact of life–usually at a cost to loved ones. How we handle major issues impact lives more so than lesser ones.

Dying is one such issue. As part of living, 100 % of us can count upon the grim reaper’s intrusion with family or friends at one time or another. Death’s arrival, whether  fast or with lingering illness, always brings sadness and varying degrees of grief for those left behind. Continue reading