Best Man & His Wife’s Duties?

single_groomsman_tux“Are there any special responsibilities as the wife of the best man?” was the second part of a recent question that Protocol Matters received (and, in this case, the wife of the best man is also the sister of the groom).

Answer: You have some involvement as wife of the best man, however, all etiquette authorities agree that you have no official responsibilities specified in protocol, other than being a cheerful support to your “best man”. You will be invited to the rehearsal dinner, but are not expected to perform any duties.

This does not mean you cannot help, but the amount and specifics of any duties are optional and will generally be in the form of assistance to your husband. This requires discretion and sensitivity on your part. How much assistance does your husband want or need in his duties, which were defined earlier. He will likely be happy to have your help and attention to detail, especially if his time is limited as the wedding day approaches…. Continue reading

Best Man Duties

single_groomsman_tuxProtocol Matters received this two part Question: My husband is best man at my brother’s wedding. What are his duties before, during, and after the big day? Do I have any responsibilities as the wife of the best man?

Answer: Your questions are good ones, especially since brothers or cousins are often asked to be a best man, and how they handle this important role can impact the wedding (as well as future relations) for better or for worse. Kudos to you and your husband that you care enough to do some advance footwork. I think you’ll find the general protocol helpful…  the first part of your question is answered below and a post answering the second part follows in a few days. Continue reading

Bridal registry & gift protocol

Question: We have many friends from out of town who will not be able to attend my daughter’s wedding or her bridal shower. The groom’s family is also out of state. Yet these families would like to send a gift. What is the best way to inform them where the bride and groom are registered? I know it is not appropriate to put gift registry information on the wedding invitation. How do we get the word out without giving the impression that the couple expects a gift? Thank you for your advice.

Answer: It helps to know that if an invited guest would like to send a gift it is the guest’s prerogative to inquire about a bridal registry. The initiative for information and gift giving belongs to the guests; not to the bridal couple or parents. Continue reading

Weddings and uninvited children

    A mother from Washington shares the following concern with a question about wedding budgets and uninvited children:Question: My daughter is getting married in October. The ceremony will be an “open invitation” to all of our friends and their children. However, due to size, venue, and cost the reception is only for specific adults and Continue reading

Wedding receptions: Who greets whom?

 Dear Frances from New Jersey.   Receptions are times that frequently give us practice in excercising broad social graces, including forbearance, because protocol oversights do happen. They are likely unintentional. Wedding complexities can overwhelm the best of us, especially dreamy eyed brides and nervous grooms. And, should the Continue reading

“No Boxed Gifts”

Question ST: I have been invited to an Indian wedding and on the invitation they list “no boxed gifts”. Please explain what this could mean (are they specifically requesting money, or no gifts, or only gifts that are not wrapped?) I have never seen that before. It is being held at a hotel, and I hope to think it isn’t because of terrorism, but I suppose you never Continue reading

Monetary wedding gifts

 Question from Michelle G.  “Is there a guideline for the amount of money to give as a wedding gift?”Answer: Dear Michelle Wedding presents (of any kind) are tokens of esteem and affection meant to help the couple and wish them well in their new life together. Neither the bride, the groom, nor their families should request money be Continue reading

Etiquette for Wedding Guests

Weddings abound year around, and especially so in summer, when gardens provide settings that flourish with color and fragrance befitting young love.    These are times when we, as guests, do not want to embarrass ourselves or frustrate the wedding party by our social failures in proper behavior or lack of good manners. Worse yet, would be to spoil, burden, or distract from this meaningful event by our unintentionally rude or inconsiderate actions. Continue reading