Best Man & His Wife’s Duties?
“Are there any special responsibilities as the wife of the best man?” was the second part of a recent question that Protocol Matters received (and, in this case, the wife of the best man is also the sister of the groom).
Answer: You have some involvement as wife of the best man, however, all etiquette authorities agree that you have no official responsibilities specified in protocol, other than being a cheerful support to your “best man”. You will be invited to the rehearsal dinner, but are not expected to perform any duties.
This does not mean you cannot help, but the amount and specifics of any duties are optional and will generally be in the form of assistance to your husband. This requires discretion and sensitivity on your part. How much assistance does your husband want or need in his duties, which were defined earlier. He will likely be happy to have your help and attention to detail, especially if his time is limited as the wedding day approaches….
…Keep your eyes and ears open as to how you can help your husband in his role. You may be needed to run an errand for him, pick up wedding clothes, or help with other details in the wedding preparations. Other involvement or assistance also depends on the closeness of your relationship to the bride and not stepping on the toes of her attendants in their duties. (I’m assuming that you are not one of the bridal attendants).
At one of my son’s wedding, the wife the groomsman, was a huge blessing as she quietly and considerately lent a hand where ever needed: in assembling wedding programs, picking up loose odds and ends, providing transportation for the bridesmaids, and the bride, the day prior to the ceremony. She remained available for whatever was necessary during the last few days preceding the ceremony. Everyone, especially the bride, appreciated her unassuming, yet thoughtful, background assistance.
Thank you for sharing your question. Enjoy the wonderful occasion! It’s an ideal time for building a happy relationship with your new sister-in-law. I suspect that your husband, your brother, and his bride are glad to have someone like you involved because you obviously consider how to put your best “helpful” foot forward without stepping on toes. How nice for all around that you are a person who understands that protocol matters!