Author: sandra

What’s the difference between “congratulations” and “best wishes” in wedding situations?

Christina, thank you for your perceptive question! First, words matter… and you’ve picked up on that. That’s wonderful! Right, fitting, pleasant, and true words reflect a thoughtfulness that aims for appropriateness. True words create a difference in our own lives and those around us. Encouragement often comes via fitting and appropriate language. Something about “trueness”…


Back burner issues

Have you learned that there are times when certain endeavors have to be put on the back burner…things that you care about? That’s where this PM blog has been due to a variety of factors–some issues were (and still are) technical and other factors involved time constraints due to life’s speed bumps, and also because…


Happy New Year 2015

Dear PM friends Do you know that you are a special and unique person in today’s world…and the fact that you are here, that you care about good manners, a sense of order, kindness and respect for other people is a huge blessing in many ways…you make the world a better place. I am blessed…


Some thoughts from Messing with Manners

Thoughts on messing with manners… A question in many people’s mind is whether or not etiquette has any flexibility in its practices …the short answer, is of course it does. So when are detours or adjustments allowed? When are they necessary? Any variation from etiquette’s standards requires an understanding of why we do what we…


What You See is What You Get … Sorta

Today was a beautiful fall day with some rare quiet time at my house. Such a treat with an extra hour or so to go through a box of mail, papers, and magazines that have set too long and are begging to be sorted. They’re full of good articles that I wanted to re-read. One…


What is a Gentleman?

We see Christianity’s timeless, powerful and wise influence upon the world of manners from one of my older etiquette book’s first chapter: “What is a gentleman? The question is an old one. It cannot be ancestry, for often the son of the most noble and honored parentage is merely a coarse compound of clay and…


Best Man & His Wife’s Duties?

“Are there any special responsibilities as the wife of the best man?” was the second part of a recent question that Protocol Matters received (and, in this case, the wife of the best man is also the sister of the groom). Answer: You have some involvement as wife of the best man, however, all etiquette…


Best Man Duties

Protocol Matters received this two part Question: My husband is best man at my brother’s wedding. What are his duties before, during, and after the big day? Do I have any responsibilities as the wife of the best man? Answer: Your questions are good ones, especially since brothers or cousins are often asked to be…


Double Duty Discovery: Expository Writing Assignment Using Protocol Matters

Dear Ms. Deb… I’m happy you chose Protocol Matters for your students’ expository assignment. How thoughtful of you to keep me in the loop with your email. Thank you!  Other than keeping me on my toes, (which is a welcome exercise) you are certainly no trouble….


Protocol Matters Lost a Friend

Protocol Matters lost a dear friend this last week. Sharon Howell was an enthusiastic supporter of PM, good friend, and fellow protocol instructor. This was a lady who understood the importance of etiquette as an expression of respect for other people. She knew how much right actions matter….


Spitting–Missing the Mark

Spitting in public is nothing new. It’s not unsual when out and about to see youngish swaggering guys launch their slobbery marks in an attempt to appear awesome.  However, rather than being a cool macho thing, spitting has long been recognized as inconsiderate, rude, and even childish. …


More on “Don’t worry, be Happy”

Worry and anxiety are enemies of happiness and joy. These invisible robbers destroy our peace of mind and dilute our sense of contentment and satisfaction, which are essential to happiness. Three tools –or weapons,if you prefer– against these very real enemies are the practices of trusting God, thankfulness, and proper management of our thought life….


Don’t worry, be Happy

In case you haven’t noticed–happiness includes more than thinking right thoughts. It involves wise actions that are taught and learned. Insightful training and the practices of good manners, including  etiquette’s many trustworthy Christian based rules, contribute greatly to happiness. Yes, they do!…


A Stitch in Time

The saying “Good manners are the stitches that hold the fabric of society together” also applies to the home front. Happy households are safe places where individual actions and words build up others, rather than tear down….


Seaside nostalgia

A little side (as in sea) note…for those who love the beach, the water, the smell of the ocean…and seashells. If you wish for summer’s continued sampling of the seaside in the coziness of your home you will like “Splendor at the Shore” under the Favorite Things section in Victoria’s July/August Bliss issue. I picked…


Design a Table

Hard to realize its planning time again for the new school year. I will soon post some details about one of my favorite assignments where we combine art and protocol lessons.  Its fun, creative, and introduces students to proper table settings as well as good design principles. Give me another week and I’ll share some…


Not Ignoring Your Comments

Dear PM Friends Ever notice how, in the real world, nothing in life is a “slam dunk”?…And, so it is with our new site format, which for some reason doesn’t allow me to respond to your comments . Please know that I appreciate each of you who have taken time to email and make comments….


The Easy Fight & Hard Life of High Standards

Understanding the importance of instilling good behavior patterns in children is vital if you want happy well behaved kids. A true road map exists, but some parents simply don’t know how to read, believe, or follow it;  others think they can take short cuts; and some, with good intentions, do not have a clue where…


By the Way Tip for Knitters

This is a side note for PM’s knitting friends. I’m enjoying the summer days with my daughter-in-law who just received a beautiful pattern book from her sister in Scotland. I think you might like it, too. Lovely and fresh, it’s titled Summer Breeze, featuring luxury cotton DK and Bamboo soft creations by Martin Storey from…


Happy 4th of July from the fireworks of history

As our family prepares for a 4th of July barbecue we are grateful for time off,  time together, good friends, good food, and good weather.   For us, the fourth is a fun celebration with lots of fireworks capping off the day. We are happy and blessed by these things and I suspect you are too….


A New Look for Protocol Matters

Welcome to Protocol Matter’s new look … photos and a few cool additions are still to come, but thanks to Carl from Adonai Media, Inc., we are up and going again. I think you’ll like the new tags and categories, which make it easier to locate specific topics and scout out the vast terrain of…


Memorial Day Matters

Take this opportunity to teach your children  that what we have and how we live is a costly gift  from others. Memorial Day in the United States signifies an official time to honor soldiers who died in our country’s service. We honor them by remembering their sacrifice. The observance began in the 1800’s, after the…


Protocol ideas for a grand finale

Interested in teaching your teenagers some valuable social skills based on respect for others and topping it off with a special evening out? Here’s something you might consider. A grand finale time allows our young people to practice what they learned in protocol classes as well as have a great social event. For one of…


Can I do my own birthday party?

Question: Could you address the topic of throwing a party on the occasion of one’s own birthday? Are there guidelines for doing so graciously, or is the entire concept just tacky?…


The right words to an engaged lady

Question: What is the proper way to congratulate a female who has become engaged? I have always been told that is incorrect to offer ‘congratulations’ to the female….


The right words to an engaged lady

Question: What is the proper way to congratulate a female who has become engaged? I have always been told that is incorrect to offer ‘congratulations’ to the female….


Noteworthy quote & food for thought

Long ago John Donne expressed thanks to certain people and noted that we can only know how to live when someone takes the time to teach us…..this is still true today, especially in the area of manners….


Engagement Party Question

Question about engagement party etiquette. “We were just invited to an engagement party, and I’m completely unfamiliar with the concept. What is proper etiquette for an engagement party? Is it simply an opportunity to meet the bride and to congratulate the groom who’s been off at school for many years and just graduated from med…


Wakes and Post-funeral meals

Questions: Hi, I came looking for anything you may have written on funeral etiquette, and there it was right at the top! Thanks so much! Do you have any thoughts on the post-funeral meal or wake? Where it should be, who is invited, what kind of food should be served? I would appreciate any more…


Showers and gift cards?

Question: We are throwing a bridal shower for a young lady in our Bible study. She is moving right after the shower to her fiancé’s hometown and won’t be back until the wedding, which will take place here, her hometown. She and her fiancé are trying to limit the things she has to move. It…


Looking ahead:More on Issues of Life and death-Part II

There’s a strong possibility that someone you know will experience a death in their family in the coming year. Knowing beforehand what we can do as friends is essential. We must practice, and teach our children to practice, good protocol during such times. Our active response and role as friends (and acquaintances) should reflect our…


Looking ahead: Issues of Life and death-Part I

May I put a serious matter before you?–regardless of your age or household size. It’s an important discussion that should not be ignored. Still, people often avoid talking about it.  I’ve seen some sad repercussions because people failed to address or realize this fact of life–usually at a cost to loved ones. How we handle…


Incomplete Thanksgiving Expressions

I’m sending Thanksgiving thoughts across the miles while visiting another state. As we pause in our busy schedule to celebrate this special holiday, the words ‘Happy Thanksgiving” are popping up everywhere–on napkins, the news, banners, signs, ads, in songs-and even on tee-shirts.   While a nice phrase, I can’t help but think of the incompleteness of…


Retreat?

Thanks to Mrs. True for her recent Question and Comment– Question: Does anyone do a protocol retreat? We watched Princes Diaries and it got me thinking we ladies could use similar coaching. It would be so fun! Better than a quilt retreat or a Harley convention!…


Bridal registry & gift protocol

Question: We have many friends from out of town who will not be able to attend my daughter’s wedding or her bridal shower. The groom’s family is also out of state. Yet these families would like to send a gift. What is the best way to inform them where the bride and groom are registered?…


Weddings and uninvited children

Protocol Matters Cultivating Good Character and Manners in Christian Homes and Schools


Where to find trustworthy book reviews?

Protocol Matters Cultivating Good Character and Manners in Christian Homes and Schools


Miss, Mrs. and Ms.

Protocol Matters Cultivating Good Character and Manners in Christian Homes and Schools


Those Marrying “I-Do-s”

Protocol Matters Cultivating Good Character and Manners in Christian Homes and Schools


On the Road to a Happy Marriage

Protocol Matters Cultivating Good Character and Manners in Christian Homes and Schools


Question: Do groom’s parents pay for their invited guest’s room?

Protocol Matters Cultivating Good Character and Manners in Christian Homes and Schools


Young men for all seasons….

Protocol Matters Cultivating Good Character and Manners in Christian Homes and Schools


Future ramificatons from behind bars and in homes

Protocol Matters Cultivating Good Character and Manners in Christian Homes and Schools


Matters of New Life in Troubles, Jail, and Beyond

Protocol Matters Cultivating Good Character and Manners in Christian Homes and Schools


Manners from the Home Maintainance Toolbox

Protocol Matters Cultivating Good Character and Manners in Christian Homes and Schools


Merry Christmas

Protocol Matters Cultivating Good Character and Manners in Christian Homes and Schools


Happy New Year

Protocol Matters Cultivating Good Character and Manners in Christian Homes and Schools


Cell Phones. WWJD

Protocol Matters Cultivating Good Character and Manners in Christian Homes and Schools


Across the Big Pond interviews

Protocol Matters Cultivating Good Character and Manners in Christian Homes and Schools


Wedding receptions: Who greets whom?

Protocol Matters Cultivating Good Character and Manners in Christian Homes and Schools


Holiday tips when there are mice in your boots

Protocol Matters Cultivating Good Character and Manners in Christian Homes and Schools


Good Words

Protocol Matters Cultivating Good Character and Manners in Christian Homes and Schools


Here’s Kama: Birthday Book Exchange & Party Manners

Protocol Matters Cultivating Good Character and Manners in Christian Homes and Schools


Divine Simplicities: Expressing Thanks

Protocol Matters Cultivating Good Character and Manners in Christian Homes and Schools


Toppling modern king pins

Protocol Matters Cultivating Good Character and Manners in Christian Homes and Schools


“No Boxed Gifts”

Protocol Matters Cultivating Good Character and Manners in Christian Homes and Schools


Monetary wedding gifts

Protocol Matters Cultivating Good Character and Manners in Christian Homes and Schools


Programs for Church Youth Groups

Protocol Matters Cultivating Good Character and Manners in Christian Homes and Schools


Men in hats

Protocol Matters Cultivating Good Character and Manners in Christian Homes and Schools


Good Words

Do you know how powerful your words are? Words have great effect in two directions –they can build up or tear down.  Fitly spoken words possess the power to build up when dispensed in truth with sincerity. The key is speaking truthful words with sincerity, which rules out phoney flattery. Such words make a difference to others in our lives as Janet Lawrence tells us in…


Quiet Your Doubts

Protocol Matters Cultivating Good Character and Manners in Christian Homes and Schools


Lessons in the Games of Life

Protocol Matters Cultivating Good Character and Manners in Christian Homes and Schools


Etiquette for Wedding Guests

Protocol Matters Cultivating Good Character and Manners in Christian Homes and Schools